On the Prowl
It gets better with time
by IMA FOX
This article originally appeared in The Tiger on April 25, 2014 | PRINT

As you can imagine, I’m not afraid to openly talk about sex. As a sex columnist, I can freely write about what’s on my mind. However, you’d probably be surprised to learn I’m just as open in person as I am on paper. My boy toy even thinks it’s sexy that I’m a sex columnist. Hashtag blessed, y’all.

Without prying at my friends, I’ve been able to get them to open up and realize it’s normal and healthy to discuss sexytime shenanigans. During one of the most recent discussions with my roomies, I had an epiphany: sex has gotten better for me over time. It turns out that others agree, although I’m sure that plenty of people disagree. Of course I had to speculate with my friends as to why this pattern exists. So ladies and gents, let’s hypothesize why sex can get better (or worse) as time goes on.

The most obvious reason is that with experience comes skill acquisition. Absolutely no one is good at sex their first several times (and by “several,” I mean more like “several dozen”). Regardless of how you learned about how to put what where, you aren’t going to know how to be good at getting physical until you’ve done it many times and in many different ways. Like driving a stick shift, you aren’t going to know what the hell you’re doing until you get some hands-on experience on an actual stick. Recall the first time you gave a hand-job or stroked it by yourself. Awkward and confusing, right? I think that at some point you reach an optimal experience, however. At that point, you’ve got your toolkit ready to go.

Second, it’s quite possible that we just get better at selecting mates. I’m no evolutionary biologist, but I think it’s safe to assume that over time we learn how to get better at finding a significant other. We learn early on in a relationship if it’s moving along well. Therefore, we are less likely to hit a home run with someone who can’t meet our expectations. The more time you spend with that special someone, the more time you have to communicate about everything from your sex life together, what you’re going to do for your next date or where you see yourself in five years. The bond that you form together by simply communicating can transfer to how you both behave when you’re between the sheets.

This brings me to my last point, which is what I hope you all take away from this lesson. The variable with the most substantial impact on the quality of sex is often the role that emotions play. In the movie “Good Luck Chuck,” Chuck asks what sex is without love. His best friend responds, “SEX!” as if it’s a no-brainer. It really isn’t a no-brainer, though. Even the most straightforward and emotionless people out there would have to agree that emotions do affect how good it is. Yes, we’ve all had those hookups that were nothing more than sex, and those are fun. However, think back to the partners that stand out the most to you — chances are, they weren’t just booty calls. The times that you have with someone special are on another level. Every movement is done intentionally. The orgasms are more intense and the looks that you give each other during the act speak louder than you realize. I’d choose that any day.

As the semester comes to a close, I’d like to encourage everyone to take a quick break from all of the stress from finals. If you have a partner, grab them and get freaky, but put some emotion into it! For those single Tigers out there, treat yo’self to some self-love. Either way, a big “O” can be a great solution for stress.

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